Put the paper down and walk away...

...and no one will get hurt!

I had to go grocery shopping today and went to the Super Wal-Mart. Instead of walking in through the grocery entrance, I went in through the "Home" entrance. When I walked through the doors, I found myself right smack in the middle of the "School Supply Zone". I had always considered myself a school supply junkie and even though I graduated high school 20 years ago (happy 20th to my fellow Tomahawks), I thought I was going to walk out with a basket full of stuff to add to my "collection".

Growing up, nothing was more exciting to me than buying new school supplies and putting my binder (or Trapper Keeper) together. Paper, pens, pencils, highlighters, erasers, dividers, notebooks, pee-chees (the original orange/yellow ones), and anything else that was needed (or not), I was excited to buy it. Buying school supplies was the easiest thing for me because, unlike school clothes, I did not have to try them on. I knew I could go back-to-school shopping with my friends and always walk out with something because school supplies always "fit".

I remember there was a store called "Saturdays" at the mall near the town I grew up in and it was "THE" place to shop...if you were smaller than a popsicle stick. The only thing I could ever purchase in that store was earrings. I had to buy my clothes in the "woman’s" department at Sears, JCPenney, The Bon Marché (you know that "section"...the one in the BACK of the store in the corner by the stockroom where plus size girls are limited to like four racks of clothes), or at the big girl’s stores such as Lane Bryant and Avenue (where everything is twice as expensive).

As I got older (up until I had my surgery), I found other things to purchase when friends wanted to go shopping. Shoes, purses, candles, perfume, skin care products, socks... anything that did not require a trip to the woman’s section of the store. It was no secret that I was a big girl but I was too embarrassed to shop with anyone for clothes in my size.

So there I was...standing in the middle of the rows and rows of school supplies contemplating on what I "needed" to buy. Then it hit me...I do not need to buy a darn thing. I heard a little voice in my head "put the paper down, walk away and no one will get hurt". After debating on whether I was becoming schizophrenic, I listened to that voice and did exactly what it told me. I realized that I no longer have to hide behind "school supply" purchases. This was a "weight off my shoulder moment" and I could not help but smile as I turned my back on a former obsession and walked away.